Sabotage

Have you ever done something that in the end hurt you? You knew it was going to hurt, but you went ahead and did it anyway? There are two areas I would like to address here: our relationships, and our jobs. First lets talk about work. Maybe at your job, you keep getting to work late, and the boss has warned you, but you keep showing up late. He warns you some more: "I'm going to have to fire you if you continue to show up late for work." But you just can't seem to get going early enough to get to work on time. Maybe at work, you are not working as hard as you should or could be. You have in fact become your own worst enemy!
It can be tough to stay motivated to do your job and having been an employer or in management for over 25 years, I can tell you it is a battle fought by many, and a number of folks do not do so well in this category. The Harvard Business School did a famous study that produced the 80/20 rule: generally 80% of the work is done by 20% of the workforce. Now we can break this down a number of ways, but following our thoughts here, if 20% are working hard, that leaves 80% of the work force falling into lower production ratings. Some will be just having a bit of an off month, they may have outside factors, illness, vacation, injury, etc.. The rest of the folks, for whatever reason, will just be doing a bad job. A bad attitude or maybe they felt they were slighted somehow at work and they are unmotivated, or they have just let themselves get lazy. There were times I fired people that I just could not get a days work out of and I would tell them "I'm doing this for you, not to you." Sometimes job loss is the wake up call people need to make them understand what they are doing is not cutting it.

John 8:32
32Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Maybe you are in a relationship and you have fallen into a pattern of being hurtful, playing hurtful "mind games", of saying things you know you shouldn't say, things you don't really feel, things you know could hurt the relationship. These hurtful things could even sabotage and / or end the relationship. But you say or do them anyway knowing they are going to make the situation worse not better. Why do we do that? Why do we put our selves at risk to lose…to lose our jobs, or lose our relationships, to hurt ourselves?
More times then not, as I have witnessed self-sabotage, very inconsequential things cause it. The simple inability to wake up and go to work, the discipline to actually work, and to complete the task. In our relationships, statements of insignificance get blown out of proportion. Or maybe you got your feelings hurt by an unintentional inconsiderate action or non action from a loved one and the next thing you know you are threatening the very future of the relationship. A self-fulfilling prophecy if you will. Do we have a fear of peace, a fear of things going well? As odd as it may seem, some people dwell in fear and anxiety, putting themselves at risk over and over again, actually committing a cycle of sin and guilt, sin and guilt (a Satan cycle). Some folks just "push each other's buttons," ratcheting up what would otherwise be a petty disagreement, not worthy of this kind of effort.
Why do we do this? We have to end this cycle of, what is actually, self-abuse. "Stop the madness" is a quote that comes to mind. This behavior, this action, is not what God wants; God wants you to be happy. God wants you to overcome these situations and become a better person. God wants you to be a more understanding person, a more committed person, a 'mo-betta' person, a more encouraging and a more loving person. God wants you doing your best, be it in a relationship or on the job. God wants peace and joy for you, not anger and stress. The Bible is your guide; it gives us Gods tools for overcoming "self sabotage."

Psalm 119:105
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."

Psalm 23:3
"He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

Take just a moment and prayerfully consider if what you are about to do or are actually doing is helpful or hurtful to the situation.

James 1:19-20 19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."

"Quick to listen, slow to speak…" Do you understand what was said, or what happened, there is nothing wrong with asking for clarification. Asking for a restatement will do a couple of things for you. First, it slows things down. Asking for and receiving a restatement slows down the situation, it gives both parties a chance to take a breath and a moment to think. Second, if it wasn't what they meant to say, it will give them the opportunity to say it correctly, possibly give them an early "do-over," a chance to rethink what may have been a blunder on their part, and an opportunity to correct it before it's "on the record". Third, it gives you a chance to gather your thoughts before your reply.

Ecclesiastes 7:9
"Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools."

If the restatement is the same, you are ahead in your thoughts now, instead of just reacting immediately to the statement, you have had a moment for a considered response. If the statement has changed, and you want to be careful here how you react to this too, how did it change…more inciting or less hurtful? If it is less hurtful, you want to pursue that, and not the angrier of the two statements. It is important that if it is not as hurtful of a statement you let the initial statement go. Let it go. Let it go. Nothing is to be gained by going back to the first 'misstatement'. Remember we are working conflict resolution, not conflict escalation. Take each opportunity to reduce the tension and thereby gain some control of the situation. God does not want anger and tension; it is not in God's plan for you to place yourself in a bad position of a compromising situation. God wants his peace and mercy to flow through you. Is this anger or hurtful statement really who you are or who you want to be or who Gods wants you to be?

Proverbs 15
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

The mind and heart do a great job of separating good from bad, right from wrong…listen to it.
Step back, take a second, is this really where you want to go, really what you want to say?

Ephesians 4:31-32
31"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Surely there must be something you can do to make things better not worse, this is a keystone thought and statement for you and needs repeating: Surely there must be something you can do to make things better not worse.

Ephesians 4:26
26"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry

There is always something else you can do. No matter how bad it seems, no matter how bad it looks, there is always something else you can do to achieve resolution.

Philippians 1:27
27Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.

"Conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." Well, that's the kind of statement that will move you from hurtful to helpful. There is always something else you can do to return to a place more to your liking, to Gods liking. A place working towards warmth, working toward peace. Prayer is the something else; prayer can lead you to that peace. Prayer is the difference, the path to resolution. "Conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." A simple statement that will lead you in the right direction every time. I pray that these words will bring you closer to God, to help you find a way to His peace.



May the Lord Bless you and Keep you